Oysters, Blue Vein Cheese, Chocolate or Champagne: Which Turns You On More?

by Sese Kittre

Let’s face it, food is all about sensuality. We have this wonderful orifice called a mouth and it is connected to our smelling organ; so that we can enjoy something we refer to as taste. Saliva wells in our mouth when we get hungry, as we lubricate in preparation for food to be inserted, chewed, sucked and swallowed. Whether it be chocolate sliding around inside this wetted space or an oyster in all its vagina like glory filling this cavernous slippery opening before making its way down our gullet.

Oysters, blue vein cheese, chocolate or Champagne: which turns you on more? Textural bliss combined with taste and aroma. Stinky things can be a turn on when the pheromones are excited. Think of the things you do when having sex, the places you go and what you do with your tongue down there. As Billy Connelly once said, about the human body, why did God design a recreation centre and a waste management facility all in the same location? We are a strange race of animals with a pronounced sensual bent. We like sexy phone calls; especially if they lead somewhere.

A sip of bubbly Champagne dribbling down your chin and I perchance to lick that wondrous thing. Melting Belgium chocolate dissolving in your perfect mouth and the exquisite look upon your face. Food can be sexy and an awareness of its inherent sensuality can liberate your libido from ennui. You can rise up again like Apollo the sun god and impale the goddess in the deepest part of her cosmic tunnel of love. Mouths pursed to receive a plump sweet strawberry and rich cream; if you have the taste for that kind of thing. Avocadoes were called the testicles of the gods by South American Indians. Ripe melons swell with the curve of full breasts and beckon the unwary in spring.

People who eat fast food disgust me. Scoffing down McDonald’s fries, burgers and the like. They are always eating quickly, whether it be KFC or some other deep fried thing. People eat like they make love, or fuck, to use the modern vernacular. Fast food and premature ejaculation are both essentially unsatisfying. Cheap thrills full of fat, sugar and salt; and not much else. Fast food is for children who have not yet developed all their taste buds and have simple palates. Slow food is for adults who like to take their time eating; enjoying the sensual experience it can provide. Nourishing and loving slowly, as it takes time to digest.